<epithet> a. a defamatory or abusive word or phrase b. a graphic or vivid verbal description
“It said what?”
“I’m not going to it again”
“Are you kidding me?”
“I wish. I was humiliated and even though I knew it was graffiti I felt like I’d done something wrong and I was embarrassed to tell Thatch about it, in a way I felt like I had cheated on him. I know it doesn’t make any sense but if you’d seen those words painted across the car, ugh. The randomness of the whole thing was silly too; maybe a part of me was afraid he wouldn’t believe me which is dumb but…”
“No, it makes sense, you were violated in a sense. Having to drive back to Seattle that way, I’m sure everyone you passed had some sort of reaction.”
“Ah, Char I’ve got to run, my sauce is bubbling too hard, I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Taking the pan off the heat Liz stirred slowly, cringing as she visualized the graffiti. The car would be done in the morning but she didn’t want to have to pick it up. The guy at the paint shop had been nice enough. She hadn’t known what to say, everything sounded suspicious or silly. The situation was humiliating enough and there was no guarantee it wouldn’t happen again. A fresh painted car might be the perfect canvas, perhaps little too tempting if the offenders come back.
She should have pressed the parking attendant a bit harder, he had to have seen something. His startled reaction to the graffiti made her feel naked though and when she asked him if it had ever happened before he turned it back to her, “are you sure you don’t know who did this? Maybe you made someone real mad.” She shook her head and put the car in gear and drove off praying that no one from work would see her. The rush hour commute stood in front of her, 40 minutes across the bridge and then what? She couldn’t exactly take the care home and park it in the driveway could she? As her shame mounted she began to worry again about what Thatch would think. If she took it straight to a paint shop she could lie about it, say it looked like gang tags but if he somehow found out then it might seem like the words were put there for a reason, that there was some truth behind them. No, she needed Thatcher to see it so she could be off the hook.
She drove across the bridge keeping her eyes straight ahead to avoid the commuters. She drove north past her exit to where the new mall was being built and pulled into what was left of the old parking lot. She parked and got out holding onto the car door as the wind tried to pull it from her. She took out her phone and stepped back inch by inch until the whole car fit into screen then she snapped a picture and quickly sent it to Thatch before she changed her mind. She stood staring at the bright orange words as the wind blew her dress tight against her, gently pulling at her hair as tears from the wind and embarrassment crept into her eyes. She slowly walked back to the car and waited.
The call came minutes later. “What the hell is that?” he said before she could even say hello.
“Nice huh?”
“What the fuck happened?”
“I don’t know. This is how I found it when I got out of work.”
“Jesus, are you still in the garage?”
Why didn’t she think of that, she could have just stayed in the garage. “No, I’m back in Seattle, I guess I wanted to get home.”
“Well you didn’t go to the house did you?”
“No, I’m at the old mall up north.”
“Good. Who have you told about this? Did anyone see you?”
“I talked to the parking attendant to see if he’d seen anyone but that was it. I didn’t know what to do, I am so embarrassed – I’m so sorry.”
What are you… never mind, why don’t you go ahead and get it into a shop, hold on a minute and I’ll Google paint shops.”
She stared out the windshield with blurry eyes. She should have stayed on the east side, looked up a paint shop herself and taken the care there. She could have had Char meet her and drive her home. She’d become so helpless, somewhere along the way she lost herself and now she needs Thatcher to do everything for her.
“OK, here’s one. I’ll text you the address, it’s about two miles from the mall. I won’t be able to pick you up though, I had to drive to Portland this morning but I’ll send Craig to get you and take you home. I’m so sorry this happened, what a mess.”
“Thanks Thatcher.”
“No worries babe. Get home and take care of yourself, I’ll try and make it back today but I’d planned on staying the night. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thatch, please come home, you’ve been working late for weeks now, I need to see you.”
“Don’t do this to me, I’m sorry this happened but you know how important this project is. I’ll do what I can but I can’t promise anything, now I’ve got to go, I’ll have Craig meet you at the shop.”
She watched the wind kick up dirt and garbage as she heard Thatch hang up. She sighed thinking again about how dumb it was to feel guilty about the words, she had absolutely nothing to feel guilty about it. She realized maybe it wasn’t that she was afraid of Thatch would think about the graffiti but about what she would have thought if it had happened to his car instead of hers.
