Looking for More

<stretch> a. to extend or strain (oneself) to the utmost, as by intense exertion b. to become stretched, or admit of being stretched, to greater length

I’m haunted by that feeling again, the feeling that I can’t continue on professionally like I am but that I don’t know what do to yet. It’s one part not sure of what I would do, one part worried I wont be able to make a living doing something new (whatever that something may be).

So what am I doing to find out what it is I want to do?

Nothing.

Why?

Because I’m tired after a long day at the office. Because I don’t have a lot of time. Because it causes me a certain amount of anxiety.

I can give excuses all day long but at the end of the day I’m plain and simply not sure what I would do if I made the big break. But I need to start somewhere. I know it doesn’t have to be THE thing but who knows where reaching out a little can take me. So I’m going to start with the obvious – writing. It’s the only thing I long to do and lately I’ve been doing a lot of longing and dreaming. So much that it makes me feel a little sick, like butterflies.

Goodbye Lemon

<abrogate> a. to abolish by authoritive action b. to treat as nonexistent

An idea that sprang to life quicker than imagined that grew and morphed both quickly and slowly. This little idea created a change in me, almost instantly. It impacted my lens and the way I travel through this world. It challenged me and allowed me to reach higher and to be more if even for a momet. 

The idea was crooked though.

I once again realize how little I know about anything, about me. 

Goodbye.